Why the hell do I have nipples? They serve me no purpose .
My wife thinks she has nicer feet than me…she is wrong.
My boxers kept finding their way into my ass crack today #underwearrape
Sometimes when I’m driving to work I hope to have a blow out on the interstate. Nothing major, just enough not to have to go to work.
I have become addicted to checking how many views my blog has gotten.
I love watching the Real Housewives of NJ, and Jerseylicious and I’m not afraid to admit it.
I enjoy watching people eat the food I cook more than I actually enjoy cooking it.
I cried at the end of My Girl…yeah that’s right, I cried.
Every time I see a dog licking its balls I get slightly jealous in a strange way (don’t judge me).
The last time my wife stubbed her toe and started to cry I had to do everything I could to hold back the laughter. I know I’m a bastard but in my defense she laughed about it afterwards.
Sometimes I fart in the morning and wakes up my wife.
I refuse to die in Florida.
I can recite just about every Kevin Smith movie word for word.
BOO-YAH!!
