Random Thoughts

Posted: July 12, 2012 in Random Thoughts, Rantings
Tags: , , , ,

Why the hell do I have nipples?  They serve me no purpose .

My wife thinks she has nicer feet than me…she is wrong.

My boxers kept finding their way into my ass crack today #underwearrape

Sometimes when I’m driving to work I hope to have a blow out on the interstate.  Nothing major, just enough not to have to go to work.

I have become addicted to checking how many views my blog has gotten.

I love watching the Real Housewives of NJ, and Jerseylicious and I’m not afraid to admit it.

I enjoy watching people eat the food I cook more than I actually enjoy cooking it.

I cried at the end of My Girl…yeah that’s right, I cried.

Every time I see a dog licking its balls I get slightly jealous in a strange way (don’t judge me).

The last time my wife stubbed her toe and started to cry I had to do everything I could to hold back the laughter.  I know I’m a bastard but in my defense she laughed about it afterwards.

Sometimes I fart in the morning and wakes up my wife.

I refuse to die in Florida.

I can recite just about every Kevin Smith movie word for word.


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